The problem
A friend told me recently that when her mother became 60 she began to say many negative things her future prospects – that she would get sick and need looking after. My friend reacted to this, telling her mother to please stop saying such things, that her words would create the situation she anticipated.
Now, in principle, I agree with my friend. For her mother to voice those words will not be helpful, her putting these thoughts out to the universe will tend to create the very sickness and dependency she foresees.
The opposite is no solution
Yet at the same time I think to simply suppress or deny such thoughts is also unhealthy.
I know from my own experience that it is difficult to ignore a thought or feeling when it is appearing. In my early 40s I had many thoughts and fears about sickness and death – it was a period of ill health for me, and it had been impossible to pretend otherwise. It was the truth of that time. Frankly denying did not seem a possibility.
These thoughts led me to wonder what could possibly be the solution faced with these two problematic reactions.
“Between denying and confirming is the space for consciousness”
The sentence came like a bolt of lightning, clear and strong. Stopping denying allows something to be seen, but rather than then having to act or react to what has appeared it is possible to simply be conscious of it. This consciousness, like the clear fraction of an Equilibrium bottle, allows the thought or feeling to be present without having to be confirmed. I believe this practice leads to the “karmic absolution” that Vicky Wall used to associate with the Clear fractions.
Denying energises and confirming materialises. If the thing in question is unwelcome then neither of these options is desirable. The more we can allow something to be present in mind without confirming it, the more that thing will disappear over time.
Like me ☺
